Handmaids of Mercy

God's Mercy from Creation to Eternity

A new merciful way of looking at our bodies and souls.

I'm taking a wonderful seminar at CDU (Catholic Distance University) it is entitled, Introduction to Genesis and it is taught by Dr. Robert D. Miller II.  The following quote was in our lecture notes: "Man is in the image of God, not one aspect of man! We aren't souls encased in a body; we are people - body and soul. Man's spiritual life is not something added to his physical life, our very existence is our relationship to God."

This is a novel concept to me because I've always heard that the soul is what was created in the "image of God' so I prayed to the Holy Spirit for enlightenment. My heart was flooded with thoughts. First, I remembered Our Blessed Mother, assumed body and soul into heaven. Why? because she was immaculate, without blemish. When God created Adam and Eve, they too were without blemish until they chose to disobey God. Eve's quest for "knowledge" on her own terms, as opposed to God's wisdom, led to her disobedience and sin entering the world, by way of death. In order to die, there must be a cause for death, hence aging and disease etc. Prior to the fall, there was no aging, no disease, no death. Body and Soul were in a perfect union acting together.  Eve made the choice in her mind to say "No, I will not abstain" from the tree of knowledge and used her body to pick the fruit of temptation. Body and Soul worked together to her demise.

                                           

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I believe that life's struggles are actually opportunities to choose virtue or vice, once we make the choice in our mind then we eventually move forward with our bodies. Our Blessed Mother humbled herself in complete obedience to the Father, "Be it done to me according to your will."  She did not have all the knowledge most young girls would have desired about her situation, but she had faith and used her free will to say "Yes" to God. She said yes with her mind and her body when she conceived Christ. Her soul and body were in perfect union with one another, because she was in obedience to God.

We must not separate our intellect and spirituality from the actions of our bodies.

The body is a blessing. It is the body that allows us to touch, to feel, to hear, to see, to taste, to smell, but it can be a curse when we don't use it as God intended. When we say no to God, and sin with our bodies...lust, gluttony, sex outside of marriage, etc. we upset the "order" intended by God in creating us in His image. I think we get too boxed in by the word "image"....we think in terms of an absolute replica...instead, perhaps we need to think of "image" as "strikingly alike" or "in union. with".  For example, when someone says, "Oh she is the "image" of her Mom" they really mean, so much like her, or an uncanny resemblance. Isn't that what God wants of us, to desire to be like him in our nature? Not to be "A God", but to be like God. We must not separate our intellect and spirituality from the actions of our bodies, because God created us to have them work in unison with one another in order for us to fully know Him, love Him and serve Him.

So, what if we've messed up? Is it too late?

Take the Prodigal Son for example. He made bad choices. With his mind he greedily decided to take his inheritance and with his body he used his money to sin. But, his father waited anxiously for his return. When the prodigal son did return, his father seeing him in the distance, went running towards him joyfully rejoicing. This is how it is with Our Heavenly Father, he is waiting with Divine Mercy for us to return to communion with Him. The prodigal son was repentant and only expected to serve his father as a lowly servant when he humbly returned. But, the Father said, bring him fine robes and serve him a feast. The mercy of God is like this, shining in splendor, spread out like a feast before us, awaiting our return. All we have to do is to return to Him with a contrite heart and a soul wanting to be united with the actions of our bodies.

Why not take a class or two at CDU?  CDU Catholic Distance University

Mary Kidd Flemming blogs for The Handmaids of Mercy , The Splendor of Truth and The Compass Rose (Parenting and Family Life Issues). You may also enjoy her husband's website: Crossroads Family Center

My Mother's Day Shot in the Arm, courtesy of the Holy Spirit.

Getting what you ask for...

Over the past few weeks, God has given me just what I needed and just what I'd ask for....only on His terms.

A few weeks ago, while preparing for a field trip with my son to the National Zoo, I had a sudden overwhelming pain in my stomach. It was similar to female pain that I've had in the past when suffering with endometriosis, but I hadn't had any problems with that for about 17 years. It was somewhat different, a burning pain, almost like a small fire had been set in my lower abdomen.

I was determined to go to the zoo anyway. I'd promised Justin, we'd been looking forward to it since the beginning of the school year and I would just take two tylenol, add a few to my purse and deal with it. That is exactly what I did. But, as I walked around the zoo, I knew that something wasn't right, this was pretty intense pain. The bus ride home was excruciating. My husband, John, took me to the emergency room that evening, but they were extremely busy and we decided to go home. All night long I agonized with pain comparable to the last bit of childbirth. I went to the doctor the next day only to be told that she felt it was a female problem, most likely an ovarian cyst and that I'd need to get an ultrasound at the hospital and follow up with my OB/Gyn.

The next day I went to the hospital and had the ultrasound, but the technician couldn't see my ovaries! Huh? I knew they were there, and half-jokingly insisted that I'd never authorized for them to be removed! He recommended that I see my OB/Gyn because there was a lot of "air" in my intestines apparently blocking the view of my ovaries. So, I made an appointment and was in to see my OB/Gyn before I knew it. He found a "fluid sac" but it wasn't on my ovary, he said it looked to be an inflammation of my intestine. He suggested a strict diet regimen for two weeks which consisted of eliminating many simple carbs, and he said he was almost 100 percent sure that I'd be feeling better at the end of the two weeks. He was right.

Prior to this incident, our entire family had joined the hospital affiliated Wellness Center and I'd started working out again. I was feeling better but having trouble losing weight because I didn't have a "diet" plan. Well, now I had one, an un-realistic one, but it was a start. I clearly remembered praying for a lifestyle change for all of us in regards to better eating and exercise, so I knew in a way, this was probably an answer to prayer.

My shot in the arm, courtesy of the Holy Spirit.

Some people refer to a wake-up call, a new realization, a new understanding as a "shot in the arm". Not only did my stomach pain and change in diet foreshadow what would happen over the next few weeks, it began to prepare me to consider how I'd been abusing high carb foods for years. I realized I was addicted to the sugar rush after two weeks with out potatoes, sweets, rice and breads. I began to see that my stomach pain was self-inflicted and a consequence of a lack of self-control and temperance (moderation). In other words, gluttony and wild abandon were running my life, and consequently the lives of my children and husband.

I cried while thinking about the challenge of making changes and sticking to them...uh, that's called fortitude. I'd had some success. My kids love all kinds of fruits and vegetables and I'd switched to whole grains about a year ago, my dinners were well planned and balanced. But, I knew I also had my failures, too many high carb snacks, treats and drinks plagued our family. I prayed that somehow I could inspire my family to get on board with making a healthy lifestyle change.

Then, I had "THE" phone call from my husband. He was having chest pains and shortness of breath. Thankfully, it turned out to just be anxiety and indigestion, but it scared the bee-jeebies out of him and me too! He went to the local emergent care center, with both of us thinking he was having heart problems. In the course of the hour and a half between the start of the pain and the results of the test, my forty-one year-old husband had a lot of time to think. While praying for him, I asked God to please keep him here with me until we both grew very old and to help him to make healthy changes. John came home that evening a changed man, devoted to "getting healthier" and we talked for hours about the changes we needed to make.

My son's shot in the arm, an exercise in virtue.

Though we were both resigned that we needed to do this for ourselves and our children, we didn't become completely convinced until the diagnosis of our eight-year-old son with Type I Diabetes (insulin dependent). This cinched the deal. Justin has to have a regulated diet, he has to learn temperance, fortitude and self-control, gifts of the Holy Spirit long before he is confirmed. The alternative is death, period, that's the final answer. So, my son's cross, his challenge, his suffering will benefit us all in the long run. With each shot that I give him in the arm, I realize that it is a shot in the arm for me as well, a wake-up call to better take care of the temples of the Holy Spirit dwelling in my household. I remember thinking how odd it was that Mother's Day and Pentecost were on the same day this year. How foolish of me, mothers attempt to teach our children virtues every day. What a better job we'd do if we relied on the assistance and the gifts of the Holy Spirit more often. The gift may be delivered by a blazing, burning, fiery pain in the stomach or an alcohol swab followed by a injectible syringe delivering insulin.

Insulin is the "key" that opens the door to our cells to let sugar inside. The sugar is the energy that our body needs, it keeps us fueled, without it we become lifeless. Sometimes we need a "key" to open the door to keep us spiritually energized. The key given to us by Christ is the Holy Spirit. When we let the Holy Spirit open the door to our hearts, we can cross the threshold to Christ-like living. We embrace the virtues and turn away from the vices. We have a new Pentecost.

Mary Kidd Flemming writes for Handmaids of Mercy, The Splendor of Truth, and The Compass Rose (Parenting and Family Issues)

You may also enjoy her husband's website: Crossroads Family Center

Mercy's Motherhood

Motherhood: Being Tough is Not Enough

Yesterday was Cinco de Mayo. I sent my excited kindergartener off to school with his jar of salsa for the fiesta, not knowing that it would be a day that would forever change the life of our family. After the older kids got on the bus, my husband took our eight-year-old son to the doctor for what I thought was a bladder infection. Our son has asthma and severe eczema and suffers a great deal from these ailments and has been very cranky for weeks. Within twenty minutes of arriving at the doctor, my husband was told that our son was also suffering from Type I Diabetes. His disease will require daily shots of insulin and a strict diet. John was also informed compassionately by our very loving, supportive, Catholic friend and pediatrician....that it was "another" auto-immune disorder.

I say "another" auto-immune disorder, because last December, we spent a week at UVA Children's Hospital with our four-year-old daughter, where she was diagnosed with Auto-Immune Liver Disease. Dr. Werner later told me that she regreted deeply having to tell John that we were facing another auto-immune disorder, and she knows how hard this all must be for us to absorb. It is hard. I'm finding it extremely difficult and I'm agonizing in my heart about being able to meet another child's medical needs. I've been told by many people that God doesn't ever give you anything that you can't handle. I've felt a lot of pressure after a well-meaning person has said this to me. It seems the burden is placed squarely on my ability to "handle" the situation. It is almost like suck it up, gather yourself together and move on. This is true to some extent, we do have to find strength somewhere inside ourselves, but what so many people fail to realize is that being tough is not enough. Eventually, the effects of being tough will manifest themselves in personal illness, psychological issues or even addictions if we focus only on our own ability to handle the situation.

Amazing Grace, Divine Mercy and Holy Nudges

We can not lean on our own understanding, we must ask for grace and mercy. Grace is freely given from God, we can't earn it, but we can ask for it. Yesterday, I was beside myself after hanging up the phone with my husband. I cried out, "God, help me, my little boy, why my little boy, he is already suffering so much?" Immediately, I felt the urge to call my SOUL SISTER Hannah. I simply asked her for her prayers, that's all I could do. I also told her that it seems this disorder comes from my bad gene pool and she quickly rebuked me in a kind and compassionate way saying, "Mary this is not your fault, you can not blame yourself. God loves you and Justin and He is with you now. He will give you the graces you need."

Later on in the afternoon, Hannah emailed me with some amazing news. She was in her office at the church and flipped over a Liturgy magazine that had been sitting on her desk for several days. On the back cover was the following:

Saint Pauline of the Agonizing Heart of Jesus (1865-1942)

O St. Pauline Visintainer, always trusting in God,

having suffered yourself with the affliction of diabetes,

and ever faithful in responding to Our Lady's call

to help diabetics and all the suffering in the world,

we ask your loving care over the Church that you

love so dearly; we entrust to your loving care our lives,

our famiilies  and all of God's people.

Hannah sat there and typed out the entire article about St. Pauline for me and put it in her email! She said she just couldn't wait to get me a copy. I'm so glad she did. This prayer brought me so much comfort. I'm a self-ascribed Handmaid of Mercy, dedicated to spreading the Divine Mercy Message, "Jesus, I Trust in You.",  yet I needed something to remind me of that message. "O St. Pauline, always trusting in God...." ALWAYS trusting in God at all times, I couldn't remember that in my agonizing heart, but through God's grace and Hannah's willingness to be a handmaid of mercy, I was reminded to put my trust in Him.

You know, the patron saint of diabetics could have had any name, but her chosen name was Pauline. In 2007, I had a sudden unexpected miscarriage. I felt in my heart the baby was a girl and named her JoHannah Paulina after Pope John Paul II and my dear soul sister Hannah. It is no mere coincidence that it was Hannah that found the information about St. Paulina. I truly believe that my little saint in heaven Johannah Paulina interceded on behalf of her brother, by sending a holy nudge to her spiritual godmother on earth. This very small act of turning over a magazine while immersed in thoughts and prayers for our family turned out to be a tremendous act of mercy for a mother with an agonizing heart.

Reflections from Heaven

Several years ago, I was directing the Children's Choir at our church and Hannah was playing the organ. During the rehearsal, I turned around to look at the clock and noticed a beautiful round circle of light on the back wall outside of the confessional. I said to Hannah, "Look at that, doesn't it look like the Eucharist?" She said that she had seen that before and thought the same thing. We pointed it out to the children, who were by the way preparing to sing for First Communion. So, every week we watched for the stained-glass induced Eucharist on the wall. The amazing thing is that the stained-glass window with a cross and a bleeding heart representing Precious Blood has no white glass in it.

Last night, before heading to the hospital, I stopped by the church to offer my prayers for Justin before the Blessed Sacrament. I sobbed more deeply than I ever have while alone in the Church with Our Lord. I let it loose, I let it go, and turned it all over to Him. I asked for direction and immediately the words of the Memorae came to my mind about Our Blessed Mother never abandoning us and then the Hail Holy Queen came to my lips and I began to sing them out loud:

Hail Holy Queen, Mother of MERCY, our life, our sweetness and our HOPE, to Thee do we cry, poor banished children of Eve, to thee do we send out our sighs, mourning and weeping in this valley of tears. Turn then Most Gracious Advocate, Thine eyes of Mercy towards us. And after this, our exile, show unto us the Blessed Fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. O Clement, O Loving, O Sweet Virgin Mary. Amen.

It is May, the month dedicated to Our Blessed Mother. It is also the Month for First Communion and May crowning. On Saturday, May 3, 2008, my Justin received his First Holy Communion. On Sunday, May 4, 2008 he received his second communion and crowned the statue of the Virgin Mary with his brothers and sisters. On May 5, 2008 he received his lifelong cross of insulin dependent diabetes. As I sat pondering all of this and looking up at Justin's First Communion banner, I wondered if the stain-glassed Eucharist was on the back wall. I turned looking behind me and it wasn't there. I said my final prayers and genuflected beside my pew. As I turned to leave, I looked over at the pew across the aisle from me, where a small white round circle the size of a dessert plate was reflected on that pew. My Eucharistic reminder was no longer behind me or a figment of my past experience, but was seated right beside me, reminding me that Jesus is right beside me at all times, it is up to me to take His hand and the hand of His Blessed Mother like a little child and let them lead me wherever I need to go.....the hospital, the pharmacy, the specialists, or uncharted waters.

Mary Kidd Flemming, Founder of The Handmaids of Mercy www.handmaidsofmercy.typepad.com

Mary's blog about TRUTH, www.splendor-of-truth.com

Other Blogging by Mary Kidd Flemming concerning parenting issues and family life can be found at www.thecompassrose.typepad.com

You may also be interested in visiting www.crossroadsfamilycenter.com the website of Crossroads Professional Counseling and Family Life Center, owned and operated by John A Flemming, LPC. 

Filling our nests with Divine Mercy

During the 2007 Advent Season, I felt the urge to get a small tree for our foyer, but it seemed like a frivolous expense after looking at local options which didn't fit my December budgetary constraints. Then my husband John and I happened upon a true bargain, a potted 5 ft. tall artificial evergreen, originally $75.00 marked down to $17.00 because it was a floor model. I'm the kind of gal that always goes to the clearance racks first. I've been a thrift shopper since a child, learning to stretch a dollar a long way out of necessity. That has proven to be an asset in raising six children. My husband asked how I planned to decorate my bargain and suggested we look for decorations before leaving the store. He found a nice set of beautiful bird ornaments that he said reminded him of the ones that his grandparents once had on their tree. They were very nice, but were extremely breakable. They also were pricey and to get enough for the tree would have been costly. Disappointed, yet inspired, we put them back on the shelf.

A few days later, I was back in the same store again and thought I'd take another look at the ornaments. I was thrilled to find several tiny wooden bird ornaments in various colors and became even more excited when I saw they were on sale at a basement bargain price! I carefully chose enough of the ornaments to fill the tree and brought them home to show my bird loving husband and kids.

My husband's love of birds is most definitely passed on by his Grandfather, Albert Latusek. Grandpap loved bird watching and listening. Very often when we would visit him in Monroeville, PA we would join him and Grandma on the big swing he'd built out back or on the back porch. We would sit quietly and listen to Grandpap chirp "bird" calls and watch the birds go in and out of the birdhouses by his grapevine. When our oldest son John was about 2 1/2, he asked me something about Pap-Pap, I asked him which Pap-Pap he was talking about and he said, "Pap-Pap Birdie in Pencil-Pencil-vaneyah!" The name stuck and from then on, Grandpap became Pap-Pap Birdie to our children.

I was so excited to show my colorful treasures to my husband and children when I returned home from my ornament treasure hunt. My husband was impressed when I told him I'd only spent $15.00 for the whole lot of them. Everyone took turns looking at all the different birds. Everyone but Jake. Jake looked at me and said, "I don't like birds, Mom."  All the other children started laughing at this surprising statement from my six-year-old. The sudden laughter truly agitated Jake. He said in protest, "It is NOT funny, birds are dumb and scary!" This was followed by more laughter from the kids who couldn't believe their little brother was scared of birds. After hushing them and sending them away, I asked Jake why he didn't like birds. He responded, "They have very sharp beaks, Mom." I went on to explain why birds had beaks and what they used them for and I assured Jake that birds were not out to terrorize little boys. My husband, John was sitting there and he brought up how he had learned to love birds from Pap-Pap Birdie. He talked at length about how Pap-Pap Birdie had built bird houses and knew different bird calls. He explained to Jake that birds were a part of God's creation. Jake listened intently and said, "But Pap-Pap Birdie is in heaven now. Do they have birds in heaven?" John and I looked at each other rather dumbfounded. Wow! How do we answer that one? After a brief silenced we both stumbled into something about how we "hoped" there were birds, but even if there weren't, that most certainly the saints in heaven could still enjoy in some mystical way, the birds on earth.

The Pap-Pap Birdie Christmas tree spent the month of December and a good bit of January in the entry foyer of our home. As I carefully put away the ornaments, I was rather sad, because I'd enjoyed looking at them everyday. I decided to place the artificial tree on the porch as we had picked up another (at an even better markdown) at the after Christmas sale. We placed them in front of the long rectangular windows which adorn each side of our front door. Jake continued to struggle with his issues with birds and John and I had many conversations discussing strategies to help Jake de-sensitize and re-think his position on birds.

With no success, I started thinking a lot about my Grandma Kidd and how she always had such a special way of explaining things to little ones. She taught kindergarten for years, and always had a bird nest on her science table. If only she were here to give me her advice. I closed my eyes and immediately felt the urge to pray about Jake's fears. Perhaps it was a holy nudge from Grandma. If only this mother of six could come to the conclusion to pray in a more timely way when presented with a challenge, our nest would be a much more peaceful place! As with most of the answers to prayer in my life, I've stubbornly learned the hard way, to trust that God would answer me within His time.

The trees remained on the porch for the month of January, February and March and then a miracle happened. On the Friday before Divine Mercy Sunday, which happens to be the two year anniversary of my Grandma Kidd's death, I was cleaning the foyer and saw movement on the front porch. I peered out of the window to see a small wren building a nest in the Pap-Pap Birdie tree. NO WAY! I couldn't believe it! When the Mama bird saw me, she quickly flew away. I peered into the nest and there were three tiny blue eggs. I called to the little ones to come see. They anxiously awaited the arrival of their older siblings from school to share the news.

Of all the trees in our yard, the mother bird chose this one, the one with a clear view of her nest from inside our own nest. Our family has our very own window on God's magnificent creation, bird parents, their nest, and their five little eggs to date. We are all waiting (even Jake) in anticipation for the birds to hatch and to watch them grow and leave the nest. We've named the Papa Bird Albert and the Mama Bird Hilda, after John's grandparents. We are hashing out names for each egg now. I can't help but believe that these tiny little wrens (Pap-Pap Birdie's favorite birds by the way) are an active merciful intercession between heaven and earth. An actual communion with the saints. A grandmother helping out her grand-daughter. A great-grandfather that never got to meet his fourth great-grandson sending him a special gift wrapped in a nest and filled with Divine Mercy. The Divine Mercy so needed in times of fear and in times of ineptness.

Mary Kidd Flemming, Founder of The Handmaids of Mercy www.handmaidsofmercy.typepad.com

Other Blogging by Mary Kidd Flemming concerning parenting issues and family life can be found at www.thecompassrose.typepad.com

You may also be interested in visiting www.crossroadsfamilycenter.com the website of Crossroads Professional Counseling and Family Life Center, owned and operated by John A Flemming, LPC. 

Glorious Merciful Laundry

When I was a little girl, we did not own a dryer. I have many fond memories of running through the yard dodging both clothing and sheets in the three or four clotheslines that my Grandfather had built. There was nothing like the smell or feel of clean, damp laundry being hung just so by my Grandmother. She showed me how to carefully overlap each piece so to make the best use of her limited clothespins....the old fashioned kind without the pincher clasp. I would sit on the back porch very often eating warm peanut buttered toast and watch the laundry blowing in the wind.

I remember abandoning the toast on more than one occasion favoring a run through the laundry instead. The white and light loads were my favorite. There was a sense of running through the very clouds of heaven itself. My sister and I were like little angels as we floated about, dodging the moving clouds. Pristine white sheets and pale clothing blowing wisps of bleach my way, the world was clean, fragrant and beautiful. The white clothes drying in the hot summer sun emanated not only a warmth, but a certain glorious glow across our backyard, one that I had not thought about in years until today.

Yesterday, I was privileged to receive the traveling Divine Mercy Icon on behalf of our parish. I could hardly wait for the box to open and for it to be removed from its cloth bag. When it finally emerged, I was taken back. The often seen brightly colored image of the Divine Mercy Jesus was not brightly colored at all but instead very pale in color. I was surprised but not at all disappointed. The Polish artist, Anna Sekowska that had been commissioned to paint the icon for our diocese had chosen a much paler palette than I'd ever seen used before. As I gazed more intently at the image, I was drawn to how it somewhat glowed from the canvas. Every detail seemed to suggest more strongly the risen Christ, radiant in the resurrection. This was a new take for me on the Divine Mercy image as the one in our home is done in bright colors. I knew there was a hidden meaning somewhere in all of this for me, otherwise it would not have had such a strong impact on me at first sight.

Five families from each parish in our diocese were given a photographed copy of the icon to take home. We were asked to pray the Divine Mercy chaplet and the rosary each night that the image is in our home for the healing of families. Tonight was the first night the image was present in our home. I envisioned us all sitting around the image, saying our prayers together. My husband had to visit some families in crisis tonight and my oldest son was celebrating his one year anniversary with his girlfriend. I was alone with my five younger children, one of which was continuing to celebrate his eighth birthday and another of which starts Kindergarten tomorrow.

By 8:30 I knew that my prayertime would be spent alone tonight before the image of the icon, there was just no other way and I think that is just what I needed. Time alone with Jesus. As I continued to gaze on the image during the rosary and the chaplet I was drawn to the fact that today is Sunday....the glorious mysteries...of course! The resurrection and the ascension, (both full of images of the beautiful resurrected Jesus in all His glory). Next, the descent of the holy spirit (I was reminded of my need to call on the Holy Spirit more often for healing in my own family). The assumption and the coronation (of course the Mother of Mercy, the handmaid of the Lord constantly returning us to Jesus). All the things this tired mother of six and struggling handmaid needed was set out before me. And while I was pondering this glowing picture of Jesus I was transported back to my childhood backyard on a warm summer day. Back to a time when a glimpse of the glory of heaven was so plain to see to my childish eyes and I reveled in it all. Little did I know what plans God had during the making of those memories, in order to reveal His glory to me as an adult, more deeply than ever before! Glorious laundry and a professional artist's renderings, I could have never made the connection without the Lord's grace. Jesus, I trust in You, You gift us every day whether we realize it or not.